Today, I feel like writing. I want to write. And words are dripping out of me, spilling, so that they cover this page in decent floods.

A physical release of all that magic swirling inside moment by moment week by week. Barack Obama today signed an 18-month plan to remove troops from Iraq, and yet, I believe retransition some into Afghanistan. It baffles me why in these economic (and non-economic) crisis times why the U.S. finds the war expeditures in the budget lines as a necessary project. A project that needs to extend beyond now, on through 18 more months. What else is a justifiable reason to continue to occupy?

So many of U.S. troops have been returning to the states and trying to readjust into the U.S. rhythm and cycle. The trauma of war followed by the lack of job opportunities create another market for a future war I suppose. I hope that our country and others do not allow that.

A person came to our office today to talk about "immigration" and telling "young immigrants' stories through flip cameras." After speaking with his desire to "get down and dirty" on immigration "from the ground," I've finally realized how hot and spicy digital media technology projects have become for funders. Not to knock the person, but almost seemed like a haphazard plan of wanting any and all kinds of them there immigrants to speak about anything immigration so that people opposed to immigration, so that "regular Americans" could see a human face. I don't know why but I'm not interested in that framework. Why do "immigrants" (besides indigenous communities, who is not an immigrant, dude) constantly need to take defensive and present our lives as a jesture of "please accept me"? Somebody give me 25 flip cameras, I'd love to tell so much better stories.

I'm helping plan an office retreat. It's exhausting. My art project for the day was to draw 6 months, making each cell 5inches by 4inches. In the process, I got to share my story. How I got into this kind of work, what were the moments of politicization, and what keeps me at the current organization... I also had to share this last week for an interview with an Urban Planning Professor at UCLA. It's interesting how I've created a little narrative for myself that involve a mix of: contradictions as a young desi girl in my community, as a young girl of color growing up, as a daughter of immigrants still navigating complex social and legal structures, and a path of volunteerism, student activism and then a full on jump into connecting with good community orgs. I'm amazed and celebratory at how far I've come, we've come -- the various people in the process with me, alongside me. It's refreshing to take a moment to reflect like this on the who, what, when, where and why. And to recognize that it's not over yet.

And the, there's that personal life. The Angeleno beat-soul-live formula that necessitates a car, activities, and people to facilitate/ engage in those activities. Tonight, I invited people over to the place. And while out of 35 possible people, only 6 showed up, it was still good. It was still good to be around a kind of preparation that is not for a workshop, teach-in, class, meeting, youth grroup, residents committee, date, case, phone conference or webinar. The purchasing of select foods, moving them with hands, cutting, cooking, sizzling, and baking sounds, smells, and touches all build up an experience of communal gathering and sharing that I so deeply deeply miss. So those 6 people got to share in this chance to sustain with food and stories. A process I find myself having less and less time for.

Like writing. Like pouring words onto a brightly lit page. Like waiting for a magic moment of peace, esteem, love, and confidence. Knowing that even if the variables, puzzle pieces, paths are yet to come and fit in, there is always a story to tell, something about that process that brings us back together, marking ourselves, over and over again.

With love,
p